nightride

Apple was filling front pages of tech savvy websites and blogs during last few weeks. Firstly, it was the surprising iPod nano, followed by the 5G big one, iMacs, PowerBooks and PowerMacs. And iTunes, of course, to keep in touch with the newest toys.

The very latest thing to be announced was the Australian iTunes Music Store. Aussies may have been waiting for this to happen well over year and a half, but hey, wasn't it worth it? Now it's all forgotten, store's online and we can all start spending our hard-earned bucks to contribute a little to Stevie's wealth. And don't we love doing it!

So Stevie sent to Sydney one or two of his boys, iTunes gurus to explain blokes from Down Under what was iTMS about and how to purchase music. And music videos. But no Desperate Housewives yet. How to gift music. And how amazing it all is.

To get to the point, Apple Australia organised an evening for companies involved in selling their stuff. I got in too, so you could enjoy my report on that unforgettable night. We were very warmly welcomed by Apple Australia CEO Tony King, whom nobody knew by then so he had to introduce himself and from that moment everybody could be sure the atmosphere would be very casual. As casual as Tony was. Maybe a little arrogant, but very casually.

First presenter was a young Aussie whose name I didn't catch (I'm sorry, I might find out later). His presentation was neatly prepared in Keynote using the latest iMac. He was really great, he was really fantastic and enthusiastic. So enthusiastic, that I got a bit worried if he wasn't taking some kind of iDrug, maybe iE, iSpeed or iCoke. 'Cos he was really high, he was so impressed by the new iPod he was introducing that most of us started worrying about his mental health.

Anyway, he was talking about all great benefits of new iPods, such as their thinner size, larger displays and bigger capacity hard-drives, plus the great ability to play video in MPEG4 and H.264 formats, quietly forgetting about details such mediocre battery life, long delay when starting video playback and absence of AC adapter in the package. Apple trademark support of FireWire was also dropped for good. Yeah, we're getting used to thought that there is a bite missing.

To lighten the mood, he was trying to get us involved. Who knows what format can it play back? Who knows what software can it synchronise contacts with? What is a screen lock good for? "To hide the porn?" - did a beautiful twenty-something strategically seated in the FrontRow (sorry, front row) ask. The audience couldn't stop laughing.

After lightening the mood a bit too much, it was time to present for Shawn Ellis, an iTunes marketing guru from Cupertino. Or something like that. He was to tell us about iTunes and the Music Store, but he looked a little bit lost. I don't know, perhaps it was the jetlag, as I don't believe in iHash or even iAcid or any other California dreaming stuff. In comparison with the Aussie bloke, Shawn was completely hopeless. He acted as if he was using iTunes for the very first time in his life. The Mighty Mouse wasn't that mighty in his hand, it jumping shakily up and down the screen, poor sick mousey! Most of the audience stopped paying attention to Shawn as he repeatedly announced a fantastic new feature of gifting music (twelve times, Shawnie) so I decided to help him to get back on the track. Somehow, the Bluetooth was left on so I thought it could be a good idea to utilise it. My phone found about thirty devices in a room, but only two computers. And only one was named iMac so it wasn't very hard to figure out which one to try to pair with. Of course, I knew I wouldn't be able to pair with it without a password code, but I just wanted the audience to wake up. OK, after the message asking Shawn to pair his Mac with my Nokia popped out on a big screen, everybody waked up as planned. And they started cheering, too. Well, it helped me to get their attention back to presentation (you owe me a VB, Shawnie), but didn't help poor Californian to concentrate. Mouse was virtually all over the place, jerking out of control, it was just matter of time when it would vomit. Fortunately, presentation ended soon and a young Sydneysider took over again.

This time, it was about the FrontRow. Not the one where a beauty dreaming about porn in her iPod was sitting, but the one in a new iMac. FrontRow with the remote. That was exciting, everybody loved it. As they did love the PhotoBooth. Unfortunately, as one of my friends seated next to me noted, Sony had a similar application five years ago when they released the first tiny C1 model. But first isn't always the best, am I right? (Sorry, Susan, I hope the others were better afterwards.)

It all ended with a short Q&A session. After questions like when shall we have original Aussie TV content available, or when PhotoBooth and FrontRow would be available for other Apple computers, or why the heck Coles Meyr will have exclusive right to sell iTunes Music Cards till the end of February were left cleverly unanswered, most people resigned and got ready to sip few beers and go home. All, but one, who was interested in how to get his porn collection of *.avi files to iPod. That was the last drop, Tony King thanked us all and showed us the door to refreshment. The beer was all right and wine was OK, too, and view of night time Darling Harbour was magnificent. So magnificent that I stayed with few friends in a nearby pub for next two hours.

But anyway, we all love you, Apple, to your core, and I even wrote this and other sarcastic lines on one of your cute portables. So keep on blooming, baby, and good luck. Just don't try to pretend that you're perfect. You know as good as we do that there's always gonna be that missing bite.